As I think back on the past 24 years of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see in general in gay male relationships that are again, in general , different from straight relationships. These are the issues that come up repeatedly in couples counseling sessions:. Statistically, white men tend to be relatively high earners. The sexism that women only earn a portion of what men earn, for the same work, extends to both gay men and straight men.
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While female sexuality appears to be more fluid, research suggests that male gayness is an inborn, unalterable, strongly genetically influenced trait. But considering that the trait discourages the type of sex that leads to procreation — that is, sex with women — and would therefore seem to thwart its own chances of being genetically passed on to the next generation, why are there gay men at all? This longstanding question is finally being answered by new and ongoing research. For several years, studies led by Andrea Camperio Ciani at the University of Padova in Italy and others have found that mothers and maternal aunts of gay men tend to have significantly more offspring than the maternal relatives of straight men.
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I n , when Calvin Burdine was awaiting sentencing for allegedly stabbing his gay lover to death, the prosecuting attorney encouraged the jury in his closing remarks to award Burdine the death penalty, rather than life in prison, on the grounds that sending a gay man to prison was akin to sending a kid to a candy store. After 17 minutes of deliberation, the jury obliged and sentenced Burdine to die. His death sentence was later overturned mostly because Burdine's public defender had slept through much of his trial , but the homophobic thinking — that prison is some kind of paradise for gay men — lingers on.
A series of apps sponsored by a non-denominational ministry called Setting Captives Free claim to cure you of any sins through faith and prayer alone. They have apps for depression and alcoholism and gambling, but by far the most popular one, called "Door of Hope," will fully cure that pesky moral disease called homosexuality. I skimmed through 10 days' worth of their cure, and this is what I learned you need to do to heal thyself:. Anything "graphic or overly detailed" is just giving attention to Satan. We don't want you to actually think about your experiences or emotions, we just want to hear you say that you're wrong and you need help.